Christmas with the Shark

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“So I don’t see a problem here.”

“You don’t? Really? Are you a fucking idiot?”

“No. I’m not a ‘fucking idiot’. I’m the smartest friend you have.” I laughed, if Charlie thought he was the smartest friend I had, I needed new friends. That might have been the case anyway. I looked around the bar, found a pair of long stockinged legs that jumped into a Christmas red skirt and I stared. A forty-something blonde was attached to the legs, giggling and drinking with a male companion. ‘Tis the season,’ I thought to myself. That was the present I wanted, right there in those black nylons. I tore my prying eyes away from the legs, took a sip of my beer, and looked back at Charlie to hear just what made him so smart. “Marky, my man. What you gotta do is simple. You say she likes the bad boys? You say she wants to dump you because you’re a prude?”

“That’s the gist of it…” I said looking above Charlie’s head at a string of silver garland that was hanging off the bar’s old, peeling wallpaper.

“Not a problem. Not a problem, Marky!” I hated when Charlie called me Marky, my name was Mark Sharkowski, and other than Charlie, my friends called me The Shark or Sharky. “She wants a bad boy. You give her one. You go to her place and turn it on thick. Thick! She wants to be dominated, Marky, so you do it. You push her around a bit. Push her against the wall and bite her neck. Push her onto the bed. Tear off her stockings, rip off her dress, thrust your fucking cock in, man!”

“Yeah right, that’s me. Fuck, dude. Change my whole personality over night?” Redefining one’s personality isn’t like throwing some crummy plastic ornaments over a shitty bar to give it a Christmas-makeover. At least I didn’t think that was how it worked.

“It’d be a Christmas gift to yourself. Christ, Marky. Remember when you were The Shark? Mark Sharkowki, the fucking Shark! You used to impale women all over campus. What happened to you, man?” The Shark, a comedy of a name if there ever was one. My college persona was long since drowned in a sea of dead-end jobs and overbearing girlfriends. College. A different girl every week, every night if I wanted. Where’d I go wrong?

I sipped my beer and remembered that the Shark died when Charlene Ingram killed him, the ego-crushing bitch that she was. Now I felt like a mere shell of a man, left in the desert of relationships to fend for himself — and failing miserably.

“The Shark?” I said, “The Shark’s dead, Charlie.”

“Depressing shit, man. Know what you need? You need a shot.” Charlie called Tammy over. Tammy was always our waitress, no matter which section of this dive she was working. She’d worked at Fiddler’s Grove as long as I’d been coming and likely for ten years before that. And she’d be working here for another ten years after I quit the joint. Tammy strolled over with her slender frame, tight black jeans and tiny t-shirt torn low at the neck. She smiled like always, exposing some wrinkles through her thick makeup. She was a fading-beauty if I’d ever seen one, but I still wanted to lay it in her. Just once. Her thin bird lips weren’t sexy, but they were always painted dark red. Besides, I figured a woman with searing eyes like Tammy’s must know a thing or two about sucking a dick. What I wouldn’t give to ask for a blowie downstairs behind the empty kegs.

“Marky’s being depressing again, Tammy.”

“Aww, sugar!” Tammy said bending in towards me, showing off what little cleavage she had to offer. I looked at her eyes, smiled dryly, looked at her cleavage, spotted more Christmas red, this time in the form of a lacy bra. It was December the thirteenth and it seemed as though every woman was excited to show off their Christmas cheer. Who could complain? “I know what’ll make everything better,” and she winked at me. Was I getting that blowjob behind the kegs?

“Two Jacks, hun. And two more beer. Feel free to give Marky a handy under the table when you get back,” and Charlie burst into laughter at his own crude joke.

“Hey!” I said, letting my prudish attitude get the better of me yet again. Charlene turned me into a prude, then dumped me. Now there was Laura, an old college friend. She was trying to turn me into my old self again, but sensing failure, was going to dump me too. She’d mentioned her disappointment in my attitude a few times, but no woman dumps a man within a week of Christmas. Might as well get that last gift in hand.

“He’s a card, isn’t he, Sharky?” Tammy said with a raspy giggle. She sauntered off, shaking her tiny ass behind her. I watched her slide away behind the bar. Then looked at the black-stockinged legs again. Then finished my beer.

“Marky. Every time we come here you eye Tammy like you want to fuck her. She’d do it too. Just ask.”

“Fuck, dude. I can’t ask. It’s cliché. Ask the waitress for…” I trailed off.

“Maybe Laura’s right. You are a prude. And there’s no escape.” I nodded in agreement. “Shit! You weren’t supposed to agree! You were supposed to get all angry and prove me wrong. Fuck!” I could only laugh at myself. “If I’m you?” Charlie started waving his ankara escort finger in my face, “If I were you I would have the shot that’s gonna be here in ten fucking seconds, fuck Tammy directly, have another fucking shot, go home and fuck hell out of Laura. Then dump her and have a merry fucking Christmas!”


“And in the process, you save yourself a gift.” I had already bought Laura a smart looking silver Seiko watch. It was about four hundred dollars and when I was in the store I was sure Laura would know how I felt about her when she saw it. “You don’t still want to give her that fucking watch do you?”


“Fuck! She likes bad boys and you bought her a Seiko.” When it was put that way, he wasn’t wrong. Not to mention that Laura would just take the gift and dump me anyway. Cruel fate.

“Two shots, two beers, boys,” Tammy said putting the beverages down. She put her elbows on the table, and held her head up with her hands to show off those itty-bitty tities once again. I wanted them in my mouth. Right after my shot.

“To love,” I said and slammed the shot back, then slapped the glass against the table. Charlie did the same. Laura was right. I was a prude. But Charlie didn’t have to be right too, there was an escape. Just flip every prudish impulse in my body. Seemed easy enough. “I gotta take a piss,” I said, “Wanna follow me down and give me head behind the kegs, Tammy?” I don’t know if Charlie or Tammy was more shocked by my outburst. I stared into Tammy’s eyes inquiringly.

Getting over the initial shock, Tammy smiled broadly and leaned in to whisper in my ear, “You better not be too drunk to get hard, Sharky.” Before Tammy backed away she licked my earlobe and I felt my cock leap to attention, pressing up against my jeans, trying to get free.

I stood up and said, “Come find out,” as I walked across the bar to the stairs that led to the washrooms and to the adjacent room full of empty kegs. I stopped in at the Men’s, took out my hard cock and made a piss-poor show of hitting the urinal. I washed my hands and walked out, but instead of going back up the stairs I went over one room further to where those empty kegs sat. In the far corner there were some boxes of Christmas decorations that hadn’t been hung off the walls and lights. Leaning against the wall kegs I looked at the unpainted walls and the cobwebs that didn’t exude any Christmas spirit at all and thought that of all the rooms in Fiddler’s Grove, this was the one that needed the most decorating.

I sighed and realized that I had no idea if Tammy was even coming down. I figured I’d wait a minute or two and head back up in sexual frustration.

“Ho-ho-ho,” Tammy said as she craned her neck around the kegs to see me. I’d never been happier to see her face. She strutted slowly over to the box of Christmas gear, leaned over wiggling her tiny ass in the air. When she got back up she was wearing a tiny Santa hat atop her bleach-blonde hair and brown roots. She sauntered up to me, leaned her warm body against mine and grabbed my cock through my jeans. He sprang back to attention and I moaned lightly. “Whachya want for Christmas, Sharky?”

I pushed my lips against hers and shoved my tongue into her mouth. I grabbed her right tit with my left hand, and her left ass-cheek with my right hand and pulled her in tight. I didn’t have to say anything. We kissed and she rubbed my cock more vigorously before sticking her hand down inside my jeans, making me squeeze her breast with more vigour.

“So hard,” she whispered and started to unbutton my pants. She slid them down, and the boxers went down with them. “Want Mrs. Claus to suck it?” she said with a naughty little smile on her face. I was short of breath, so I took my hand off her ass, placed it atop her Santa hat and guided her down.

Tammy stared at my cock for a moment, jacking it off slowly, making light “Ooh” and “Ahh” sounds while she did so. She stuck her tongue out and looked up at me with her big doe eyes. What a tease. What an entertainer. She licked the tip, barely, the light sensation pulsing from my cock up to my eyelashes and down to my toes and I groaned like a high school boy. Tammy licked up and down the shaft, covering it with saliva, then took the entire cock in her mouth. She got her lips all the way to the base, stayed there a moment, then pulled her head back, a string of saliva keeping us attached. She breathed hard and looked at me, “Like that?”

“Mmm-hmm,” was all I could say. What man wouldn’t? She giggled then went back to work. Taking the dick in an inch, then in its entirety, then working the balls with her slender fingers. I moaned and lifted my head to the ceiling just enjoying the ride. Tammy’s head bobbed back and forth and twirled about in seemingly random directions. I was in cock heaven. It had been less than a minute, but I was ready to blast off.

“Here I cum,” I whimpered and grabbed her ears. She thrust my cock down her throat so I could feel her mouth on all points of my dick as I blew. My pelvis kicked as I came, then kicked again as my spunk escort ankara filled Tammy’s mouth and dribbled out. She backed her head off and looked up at me, semen running down her chin. She took her index finger and pushed it back up and in.

She swallowed, then said, “You’ve arrived,” as she stood up. Had I ever. And then she was gone, back up the stairs to her job, me left alone with the empty kegs and a lighter pair of balls.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Charlie asked when I got back to the table. I just smiled and took a drink of the beer that was awaiting me. “No. No, you didn’t?” I winked and sucked back more beer. “No shit. Tammy? By the kegs?”

“You bet.”


I chugged the end of my beer. “Laura’s right. I’m a prude. And you’re right. I should fuck her brains out then dump her sorry ass. I’ll return the fucking Seiko tomorrow.”

“That’s the spirit, Sharky!” I tossed down forty dollars on the table, told Charlie to look after the bill, and headed for the door.

“Bye, Mark!” I heard from behind me. I turned to see Tammy waving enthusiastically. I smiled and waved back and then headed outside into the cold and the snow and the wind. I looked around at the street lights all decorated with glowing snowmen and reindeer and merriment. Snow was falling slowly, twirling wherever it was taken. I’d been like those snowflakes for too long. Trapped in the gusting wind, out of control. No more. I caught my composure and picked up a good clip towards Laura’s place. I was gonna show her how the Shark fucked. I was gonna make her scream.

The doorbell rang with its high pitched buzz. It was barely after midnight, but Laura was a night owl and would never dream of sleeping at this hour.

A moment later the door swung open. Laura stood there barefoot in cut-off jeans that showed off her pale legs and the flower tattoos on her bountiful thighs. She had a sweatshirt on that hid her ample breasts, but her eyes were still made-up with eye shadow that matched her raven’s hair. “Hey, Mark,” nonplussed as usual.

I stepped in without saying a word, closed the door behind me, leaned in against her, pushing her back against the foyer wall and kissed her strong and hard. My hands slid down her sweater, against her cut-offs, then grabbed a chunk of supple ass that was sticking out below the egregiously short shorts. She ignored the kiss for a moment, then let her tongue slide into action.

She pulled away, panting lightly, “Sharron’s home, Mark!” Sharon was Laura’s sister and roommate. They looked nothing alike, Sharon being the sporty type with blonde hair, while Laura had never played an organized sport in her life. What they did have in common was being sexy as hell with perfect legs, an excellent family trait that they’d gleaned from their mother. I’d fantasized about Sharon plenty of times, but tonight I couldn’t have cared less about her. I wanted Laura in my mouth and on my cock. And I wanted her now.

I shoved a greedy hand up her sweater and grabbed a breast tightly and twisted it, she gave an “Ouch!” and I bit her tongue gently when she did. “Where’d this come from?” she asked touching her tongue with a finger to check for blood. “I’m bleeding Mark!”

“I’m gonna fuck you raw,” I wasn’t accustomed to talking like that, but I was taking Charlie’s advice to heart. I was bringing the bad boy and I could feel my cock pulsing, getting ready for action, rousing from his slumber after Tammy’s suck job.

“Ok!” Laura was ready, I knew it when I touched her crotch and felt her pussy dripping right through the denim cut-offs. Laura’s bedroom was at the back of the house, so we’d have to cut through the living room, past Sharon. She grabbed my hand, turned, and led me to through the heart of the house. The whole place was decked out with Christmas gear. An hilariously decorated tree, featuring too much garland and an endless parade of dildo-shaped ornaments — undoubtedly Laura’s contribution to the decorating.

“Nice tree,” I said.

Laura giggled, while Sharon was less amused, “It would have been if Laura didn’t insist on so many penises all over it.”

“Don’t like cock, Sharon?” She shot me a dirty look and Laura giggled again. I took the silence as an opportunity to slip a finger up the crack of Laura’s ass, making her eyes roll up the back of her head. I love those short shorts.

“Let’s go,” Laura said and dragged me out of the room.

“Don’t mind the noise, honey!” I said to Sharon who squished her face up and stuck her tongue out at me. She thought this made her ugly, but she was even sexier when she was angry. I winked and allowed Laura to drag me down the hall.

I put my mouth to Laura’s ear and quietly said, “No time for lube, your pussy best be wet,” and Laura moaned in anticipation.

We were just outside Laura’s room when I ripped her shorts down her slender little waist and round ass. Laura, never one to wear panties in the house, and with her cut-offs around her ankles, was prime for a finger up her twat. I flipped her the bird, then took that middle finger ankara escort bayan and stuck it in her pussy. She was dripping wet. I pounded it in deep, then pulled it out and stuck my finger in her mouth. She sucked on it for a second, then, between moans, asked, “Who’s this new Mark?”

“The Shark’s back, bitch.”

“Can we at least screw in my bedroom instead of in the hallway?” I gave her a little push into her into her room and she pitched a seductive grin and stood looking at me. I pushed her harder and she fell onto her bed, “Ouch!”

“Shut up, Laura,” as I crawled on top of her. I stuck my tongue back in her mouth and a finger back up her twat. “Take your shirt off,” and she shimmied to remove the sweater and the white tank that was below. Laura was completely naked, my index finger up her cunt, her neck craned back with pleasure. I rubbed her long pale neck with my hand then slapped her breast hard, making her moan again.

I pulled my finger out, stood up beside her, inserted my pussy-drenched finger back in her mouth, “Take my pants off.” She obliged, having no other option than to follow my every instruction. She unbuttoned, then unzipped, then slid my jeans and boxers down. I was hard and ready to fuck her little mouth. Grabbing my cock I hit her in the face and he grew another quarter inch with pleasure. Laura laughed then grabbed the cock out of my hand and into hers.

I stood there, Laura sucking slowly and lovingly. I liked watching the way her lips spread around my penis and how this angle exaggerated the length of her already long neck. She rubbed her own clit while methodically sucking. She pulled out, looked deep into my eyes and whispered, “Fuck my face, Shark.”

I grabbed her by the shoulder and rotated her head so that it was hanging off the side of the bed. I slapped her left tit, then slapped her right tit even harder.

“It’s called irrumatio,” I said. There’s never a bad time to learn something new.

I put both hands around Laura’s throat and stuffed my cock down her mouth until I felt my tip hit her larynx and she began to gag. I thrust my hips, my cock fucking her throat, my balls slapping up against her downturned face. She gagged louder and I removed my cock and she inhaled deeply. “Again!”

Sticking my cock back in her mouth I leaned over her naked body and grabbed her long legs, pulling them up so that the tops of her soft tiny feet were resting against my shoulders. Laura was all bent up and my erect penis went back to fucking her head.

“Had enough?” I asked, my hips still in motion. She made some sounds and waved her hands around wildly. I had no idea what she was signalling, so I kept on with the delightful irrumatio. A moment later I answered my own question, “Now you’ve had enough.”

Laura pulled away, catching her breath she positioned herself back on the bed as to look at me. A trail of her own saliva was running from her mouth, around her nose and her eye onto her forehead. Laura had never appeared sexier in my eyes.

“Fuck me,” she said and spread her legs wide.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” and I dove my face into her pussy and gulped up all the precious juice that I could. She grabbed my ears and moaned loudly. My tongue was in deep, my nose mashing up against her clit and I slurp-slurp-slurped at the thick white goo that was jumping out of her delicious pink. I took my index finger and circled it gently around her anus garnering more moans. I could feel that muscle opening and clenching back down around my fingernail. When the ass opened slightly again, I slid in, her ass lubricated by her own pussy.

“Yes!” she cried and pulled hard at my ears.

“Now I can fuck you,” I said climbing up and shoving my mouth against hers so she could taste herself on my tongue and lips. I mounted her and she threw her head back with an orgasmic scream.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” was all Laura could manage to cry.

Outside Sharon knocked at the door, and I slowed my motion, “Laura? Laura, are you ok?”

“Yes! Fuck yes!” she responded, and I went back to pounding her precious pink pussy without thought of Sharon while Laura moaned with unabated delight.

“Mark! I’m gonna cum!”

“Clench that pussy down on my cock, slut!” which I didn’t need to say since she was already doing it.

“Oh! Oh! Ahhhh…” and she took a pillow and shoved it against her own face as hard as she could to muffle her screams while I continued to pump my manhood into her. “Stop… stop…” she said, removing the pillow.

I kept pumping, “Only if you suck me off.”


I dismounted and lied on the bed for the first time. She crawled down, grabbed my cock in her hand and licked at my balls.

“Suck it,” I said and she took me deeply into her mouth. I was nearly ready to cum so I put both my hands on the top of her head and started to pump my cock into the back of her throat. As I prepared to climax I held her face down against my stomach, using my hips to push my cock farther up. Laura gagged and grabbed my ass. Her hands clamped down hard. The light pain from her fingertips pulsed through my groin as a fresh hot load of cum jumped up and out my cock. The semen dribbled back down and out Laura’s mouth while she continued to gag. I let go, my head dropping to the pillow in exhaustion.

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