Emily the Church Lady

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Another story where truth is the dominant force behind the tale. This story is about a beautiful woman who I had assumed was unattainable.


1. In the beginning.

Her name was Emily. I didn’t know that in the beginning, of course. Back then she was the heartbreakingly cute girl that I saw on occasion around the apartment complex where I lived.

I was in the midst of a pity party that no one else was invited to, so the entire world was off limits for me. I had lost the love of my life almost a year earlier, and thought I had found the cure to my blues in the form of vodka. Very cheap vodka at that, buried in lemonade or seven up or anything else that could mask the smell and taste of the stuff.

I saw her up close for the first time in the laundry room of my building. She was coming in at the same time I was going out one day, and I held the door open for her as she struggled with her laundry basket.

I had only seen her from a distance previously and had figured her to be a student. Close up, she was no less attractive, but I guessed she was in her late twenties. Still too young for me, not to mention way out of my league in looks.

She looked like a combination of Goldie Hawn, Cathy Rigby and Peter Pan. Tiny! Even in her winter coat you could tell that she was really a little woman. Five foot tall if that.

Oh well, I thought to myself, she was still a very pleasant looking sight. The shy smile and gentle thank you she gave me in response to my opening the door warmed my heart in addition to other parts of my body. My life had sunk to where a hello from a woman was cause for celebration.

Time passed, and I began to try and time my trips to the laundry room so I could accidently run into her. One time I came into the laundry room while she was taking her clothes out of the dryer. I guess I startled her because a pair of white panties flew over the rim of her basket and slid to my feet.

“Uh… I don’t know what I should do here” I thought aloud as I looked down at the little drawers on the floor. “At least now I know how Tom Jones used to feel.”

Her face turned a beet red as she came over and snatched up the runaway panties, stuffing them into her coat pocket.

“I’m sorry” she said shyly.

“That’s okay” I said smiling. “I would offer the services of my washer to clean them again, but that might be a little too chummy, considering I don’t even know your name.”

“Oh that’s okay” she said while retaining the blush and picking up her laundry basket.

I stepped aside and held the door open for her.

“Emily. My name’s Emily.”

“David, Dave…” I stammered nervously. “Nice to meet you.”

Hey, it wasn’t much, but at least it was a start.

2. Coming or going.

One Sunday morning I woke up especially early and decided to take a walk to the store to pick up the New York City newspapers. It had snowed overnight and since I had nothing to do that day I figured I might as well do some reading.

The air was crisp and refreshing when I emerged from my apartment and started breaking the virgin ground of the unshoveled sidewalk. It had snowed about six inches during the night, and I was sorry it hadn’t waited another twenty four hours, because it would have been a good excuse to take a Monday off from work.

The heavy snow seemed to create a deafening silence all around, muffling the usual traffic noise and the like. The silence was abruptly shattered by the whine of car tires spinning in apparent futility down at the other end of the building.

I walked down the length of the sidewalk in time to see the frustrated motorist emerge from the car. I recognized the coat, even if the person was bundled up from head to toe.

“Good morning Emily” I said as I approached her. “Sounds like somebody’s stuck.”

She peeked out from beneath her hood and over her scarf to see who was giving her such useless information.

“Oh, good morning David” she said with a more upbeat tone than I could manage this early in the morning, and I wasn’t the one stuck in the snow.

“They’re kinda late with the plow today” I mentioned while again stating the obvious. “I can try and get you out of your parking space but you might not get very far.”

“Could you? Emily said hopefully. “I’ve got to be at church before nine o’clock.”

I mentally recoiled at the mention of church, much like a vampire shrinking from a crucifix. Church was what she was risking life and limb to get to? Nothing against faith, mind you, or the believing in something that bothers me, merely the institution.

I told her to get into the car and said I would try to help her out. The thought that I was assisting somebody so that she could kill herself getting to church was supplying all the anger I would need to push this car out. All for a church going, skinny little woman probably half my age that I had suddenly lost interest in.

As Emily hit the gas, I began rocking the car, and it only took a minute to push her out of the rut she was in and out into holy family izle the driveway that circled the building. I waved to her as she swung the car around, and saw she was rolling the window down.

“Thank you so much David” Emily said.

“My pleasure Emily” I said. “Anything you need done that doesn’t require skill, like opening doors and pushing cars, give me a call.”

She laughed, a throaty and rather husky laugh for a woman her size. I did love her laugh.

“Would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight” she said with a world of uncertainty in her voice. “Sort of a way for me to say thank you?”

“No, that’s alright, it was no big deal” I said in response, and immediately felt bad when I saw the expression of hurt on her face.

She said okay and began rolling up her window. I lurched toward the car and motioned for her to stop.

“What time?”

“Around five or so?” Emily said with that cute smile returning to that adorable pixie face.

“I’ll be there” I told her, and watched her slip and slide down the driveway.

3. Dinner with Emily.

Not wanting to seem too anxious, I planned to wait until 5:01 to make my appearance at Emily’s apartment. My plan did not take into account the fact that I didn’t know which apartment was Emily’s. I was at the very end of the two story building that conatined sixteen apartments. I knew that Emily lived down at the opposite end. That narrowed it down to four possibilities, two on each floor.

The doors had names on the slots below the doorbells, but after checking all four of them I was still at a loss, since of course none of them said Emily, or even a first initial. Just last names. I looked at the window that was visible from the sidewalk, trying to get an idea from the decor.

I decided that the apartment upstairs and to the left was the most logical, having a girly window appearance, so I went up the slippery steps and rang the bell. So much for logic, as I rang the bell seven times with no response.

Now what? I eliminated the other upstairs apartment because the doormat did not have any snow on it. What a sleuth I was. Down the treacherous steps I went, almost much quicker than I wanted, as the light dusting of snow made the painted surface slick. Carrying a bottle of wine in the deep pocket on the inside of my coat was none too swift either, if I ever happened to take a tumble.

Two options left. I was tempted to yell out “EMILY!” like us kids used to do instead of knocking or ringing bells. Having exhausted my deductive reasoning powers, I resorted to the old stand-by, eeiny-meenie-minee-moe. I hadn’t used that in decades, but I had suspected that it was being used by the upper echelon at my workplace for important decisions, so why not me?

Moe happened to be the apartment on the right, so I rang the bell. The door opened in a moment, and some strange smells washed over me as I stood there face to face with a gentleman of Asian descent who I had seen around the complex from time to time. I didn’t know his name, but he wasn’t Emily.

I apologized profusely and stepped over to the other door, ringing the bell with confidence. The door swung open and Emily stood there smiling.

“Hi David, I thought you might have changed your mind” Emily said while letting me in. Much more familiar smells ruled in this apartment, picky eater that I am noted, and I took my shoes off in the doorway.

“I would have been here about ten minutes ago, but I didn’t know which apartment was yours” I said sheepishly.

“Oh God, I’m sorry, I just assumed you knew” Emily said while taking my coat. “I know where you live.”

“You do?” I asked, rather surprised that she would know. Emily blushed as she hung my coat in her closet after I extracted the bottle from it. I had come to the conclusion that Emily tended to blush quite a bit, and I found it fetching indeed.

“Oh, I guess that didn’t come out right” Emily said.

“No, I think it came out great!” I said while following her into the apartment’s living area, which was very tastefully furnished. She had her fireplace going, which gave the place a homey feel. Romantic too?

“I’ve seen you on your patio filling your bird feeder” Emily said.

“Oh, too bad. I was hoping you had been stalking me” I joked. “I like to fatten the birds up before I shoot them. That’s my excuse for the feeder.”

Chicken was on the menu for tonight, and I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to try and choke down one of the many things I loathed eating. I showed Emily the bottle of wine I had brought, and asked her if she would like to have it with dinner.

“I didn’t know if you were a prohibitionist or not” I said. “Do you approve?”

“Sure, I’d like a glass of wine with dinner” Emily said. “I haven’t done that in a while. Only one glass though, because any more than that and I get wacky.”

“In that case, don’t bother to use a glass” I suggested. “Drink it right out of the bottle so I can get entertainment along with dinner.

Emily hotel portofino izle blushed.

4. Dinner and beyond.

I watched with interest as Emily put the finishing touches on dinner, declining my offer for help. She was wearing a bulky sweater, which gave no clue as to what was underneath, but the black stretch pants she wore certainly displayed her cute little butt to its best advantage, and gave me reason to believe she had nice legs too.

The dinner went very well, as I managed to avoid making a fool of myself by not knocking things over. Emily was a fine cook and although she was shy at first, she soon relaxed and proved herself a great conversationalist as well. We seemed to be two shy people who both seemed to be in rather desperate need of someone to talk to. After dinner, we went to the living room and sat on the couch with the rest of the wine, talking up a storm in front of the fire.

I gave Emily a Readers Digest version of my life thus far, concluding with my ill-fated relationship with Becky last year. When I looked up from my wine glass I saw Emily was crying. Tears flowed down her cheeks and her hands were shaking. This certainly wasn’t my intention, and I felt like an idiot bringing her down like that.

“I’m sorry Emily,” I said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s not your fault David,” Emily said as she scurried off and searched for a tissue.

Good grief, what the hell have I done, and what’s up with her I thought to myself. Either I’m a hell of a storyteller or she’s got problems of her own.

Emily returned after a few minutes somewhat more composed, and sat next to me on the couch, wringing a soggy fistful of tissues in her tiny hands.

“Sorry, it’s just that…, I know what you’re going through” Emily said. “I hate when people say that, but I do know.”

I hate when people say that too. Turns out this time she was right.

5. All about Emily.

Emily’s story…

“When I was in grade school, sixth grade, I had a boy in my class who would always tease me. He was awful, always picking on me and making fun of me. I hated him with a passion. As the year went on, I stopped hating him. My the end of the school year, I had made up my mind. I loved Billy and I knew that one day I would marry him.”

“He was the only boy in the world for me. We were inseparable all through high school, and although we would have our little fights from time to time, we always came back together. We went to college together, and after we graduated, we got married. I was twenty two years old and he was the only guy I had ever kissed, you know, really kissed.”

“Our marriage was wonderful, and we knew we would have a wonderful life together. We were both involved in community theatre, and we loved being in plays together. We wanted kids, but I was told that I would have a lot of trouble becoming pregnant, not to mention not likely being able to carrying a child to term, because of my size and everything.”

“The doctors were right, because I couldn’t, even though we sure tried like crazy to make it happen. Finally after a few years we resigned ourselves to the fact that it wasn’t going to be. I felt so guilty about it, but Billy was so understanding, even though I knew how much he wanted to be a father.”

“We decided that we would adopt a child, and we got the wheels in motion for that. It’s an excruciating process, but we were getting close to making it happen. One night Billy was working overtime again, trying to make sure that our adoption wouldn’t be slowed down because of money problems, and on his way home some drunk ran through a stop sign and t-boned him at an intersection. They said he probably never saw or felt what hit him, the guy was going so fast. The drunk was able to climb out of his car afterward and walk away.”

6. Afterward.

Emily retreated into her bathroom after that, which was just as well because now I was having trouble keeping myself together as well. By the time she came out, I was alright, and she was smiling a little through reddened eyes.

“I guess you do know how I feel” I offered meekly.

“We’re a couple of real cheerful folks aren’t we?” Emily said while giggling and sniffling simultaneously.

“Hey, there’s no reason to not let it out every once in a awhile” I responded. “It’s been nine months and it still feels like yesterday to me.”

“Time doesn’t help all that much David, at least for me it hasn’t” Emily said. “Fourteen years and counting for me.”

“Wow, that gives me something to look… what did you say?” I asked in disbelief. “Fourteen years? How old… I’m sorry, that’s rude. Oh hell, exactly how old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Forty five” Emily said quietly.

I looked at her in shock and awe, absolutely stunned at this revelation. I was incapable of speech and just sat there with my mouth open, no doubt looking much like an addled primate.

“I know, I get that a lot” Emily offered. “I got carded for a bottle of wine house of hammer izle a couple years ago.”

We compared birthday information and I informed her that I was exactly seven months her senior.

“I probably look old enough to be your father” I told her honestly. “I would have guessed you to be around twenty six. So, what have you been doing the last fourteen years that can account for the fact that you haven’t aged a bit. You must not have done anything stressful, like getting involved in relationships” I said joking.

“One” Emily said. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Judging by the tone of her voice, she wasn’t kidding, so I changed the topic to some lighter topics. I delighted in making her laugh, and she was pretty easy in that regard. We had such a good time that I was startled when I happened to look up at the wall and saw that it was almost eleven o’clock.

“Oh, I’m sorry, me sitting here babbling away like this, and on a school night too!” I said laughing. “I still hate Sunday nights, even now.”

“Me too! No, I loved tonight, really” Emily said, and I could tell she meant it. I didn’t think this lady would be able to tell a lie, as her emotions were so easy to read by her face alone.

I walked to the door and put my shoes on while Emily got my coat.

“Lucky I don’t have too far to go” I said looking out at the snow being blown around by a nasty wind that had come up since I had gotten there. How lucky was it really, I thought to myself, because it would be interesting to spend the night with her.

“Be careful David” Emily said while fixing the twisted collar of my coat. I took a deep inhale of her sweet scent as she got near me, as a souvenir to take with me. Now what to do?

“Um, would you be at all interested in going out with me, on a date or something” I stuttered lamely. “Maybe next Friday?”

“I’d like that David” Emily said with a big smile and a little blush.

“Great!” I said with much relief.

I reached my hand out and Emily put her hand into it, her little hand disappearing in my meaty paw. I gave it a little shake and, just for the hell of it, raised it up to my lips and kissed the back of her hand. Soft, smooth skin that triggered an immediate erection. How long had it been?

Emily blushed and bounced up on her tippytoes, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“Bye David! Thank you for coming” she said with a chipper voice, as I headed down the fifty feet to my apartment.

“Goodnight Emily” I yelled into the wind that took my breath away.

The aching in my loins was something I would have to take care of after I got inside, because I could not fall asleep if I didn’t, but it was sure nice to have to do that for a reason other than boredom.

7. The evolution of Emily and David.

That was how it began, and we seemed to hit it off right from the start. We had our date that next Friday, which went well, and I invited Emily to my place for dinner the next night.

I impressed Emily with my housekeeping as well as my cooking, making a pasta dish with chicken that had worked so well in the past. After dinner we ended up on my couch in front of the fire. Emily noticed the painting hanging prominently in the living room.

“Who’s that?” Emily said of the woman pictured coming out of the pool. “Did you paint that?”

“God no!” I said. “I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler. That’s Becky, and it was painted by a friend of hers.”

“It’s beautifully done” Emily said. “She’s beautiful too.”

Emily seemed rather intimidated by the image, and while it isn’t a graphic picture, it makes no attempt to hide Becky’s abundant and natural beauty.

We made out a little on the couch, and I discovered that Emily was a really fine kisser, despite her tiny lips. She put a lot into it too, which really excited me as well, and after a few minutes of this my hand went up to try to explore what Emily was hiding under her sweater.

No dice. She caught my hand as it headed toward her sweater treasures and held tightly onto it before putting it down on her thigh. A couple more attempts were rebuffed later as well, as she displayed the quickness and agility of a goaltender, and the night ended soon after as Emily announced that she had to get up early to go to church. It seemed she was helping to decorate something for whatever reason.

I walked her home and went back to my place to do a little decorating of my own, managing to pump out a copious amount of semen all over myself and the bed, so much so that a change of bedding and a shower was necessary.

Just to make sure that sleep would not be a problem, I left another deposit in the shower, before going to bed with dreams of Emily letting me under that sweater. I felt like a kid again, but the important thing was that I was feeling something.

8. Shopping with Emily.

One Saturday afternoon, Emily was going over to the mall and I invited myself along. We walked the halls, with me feeling so proud to be seen in the company of such a gorgeous woman that it made me forget how much I hated malls.

We passed a large mirror in a store front, and I had to laugh at the sight of us side by side. Not only was it beauty and the beast, it was King Kong and Fay Wray, as the difference in my 6’2″ frame and Emily’s maybe five foot nothing, was almost comical.

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