Cumnoisseur Ch. 02

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“What?” Logan was confused.

“You said try again…”

“Yeah, so you can tell me if my taste is improving. We can keep trying till we make it addictive.”

“Hey, I didn’t agree with that. I thought it was a one-time thing.”

“What? Of course not. This is for us, bro. Not only for me. I want you to improve your taste too. This is the only way we’ll get those bitches to swallow our baby batter. C’mon, it can’t be that bad.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m the one swallowing your jizz.” I felt annoyed because Logan was my best friend. We never had this sort of unbalanced relationship. It was normal for us to share everything. If I had to do something boring or eat food I didn’t like, Logan would join me, and we both would feel the pain.

“I know. I just can’t do this. It’s too disgusting for me…”

“And, it’s not for me?” It was the first time I reacted like this to one of his arguments. Logan understood how upset I was becoming.

Logan was thinking about what to do, but apparently, nothing came to his mind. He wouldn’t swallow cum like I wanted him to.

“I’ll think of something, ok?”

“Fuck, man. What’s wrong with you?”

“Hey, calm down.”

“Fuck you, man. Fuck you.” I left his room. I didn’t want this discussion to end like this, but even his voice was annoying me. I decided to sleep and try to forget about it. Hopefully, after all the drama, Logan would forget what happened and we would be able to move on as if it never happened.

It was Saturday morning when I heard my phone vibrating. My head was still foggy. I was groping for it on my bedside table but couldn’t find it. I opened my eyes when I heard it vibrating again. Logan had sent me two messages, then a third one.

I opened my WhatsApp and found two messages and a video in between. The first message read:

‘Look at this.’

I still couldn’t focus well enough when I touched the play button. On my screen, I saw Logan holding something in his hand. He zoomed in and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was that cum? There was a lot in his hand. He brought it to his mouth and swallowed the whole thing. He then proceeded to lick his hand clean and laughed. That couldn’t be happening. I watched the video again with my eyes now wide open.

The third message was asking me to forgive him.

‘WTF?’ I answered.

‘Come over.’

I got up in a fraction of a second. No way Logan had done that. After saying he couldn’t stand the idea of having cum in his mouth, he looked quite ok swallowing it in the video now.

I got in his apartment still wearing my pj’s, which was more like my shorts and an old t-shirt. I haven’t even washed my face yet. I should be looking miserable.

“Fuck, man. It wasn’t that urgent” Logan laughed from the couch. He had his iPad on his legs and a mug in one hand. He was wearing nothing but sweatpants. His jock torso exposed. Sometimes, he’d be totally naked, which is how he slept. Clothes restricted him in bed, he liked to explain.

“You son of a bitch.” I laughed. “After all that shit you couldn’t get cum in your mouth.”

“I know.”

“It’s not that disgusting, right?” I asked.

“Not too bad, I agree.” We were both laughing like dumb teenagers.

“It’s salty, innit? You can’t blame the chicks.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I didn’t use the sour cream. And no salt either.”

“Sour cream?” I didn’t understand.

“Yeah. The recipe. I sent you in the message.”

“I didn’t see anything about a recipe.”

Logan picked up his phone and showed it to me. I saw my message there and after that, there was another text from him. ‘Not real. But it looks like. Got enough for u 2’

“Isn’t that real?” I was disappointed. I wished he had swallowed his cum for real. This way, we’d be on the same boat again. But no. I was still leaving the shore all by myself.

“Dude, I told you I can’t have the real stuff in my mouth.” Logan put his iPad on the couch and went to the kitchen – or the small area where the fridge and stovetop were located. Over the stovetop, there was a small pot. He stirred whatever was inside with a spoon and brought it to me, so I could see it too.

“Here, it looks exactly the same, doesn’t it?” He showed that white mixture to me as if we were in super chef or something of the kind. He was proud of his accomplishment. “I didn’t use the sour cream. So, in the end, this is a little tasteless. But we can change that later. Do you wanna try?”

“Why would I?”

“C’mon. I made this for the two of us. It’s not that bad.”

He went back to the kitchen and poured the mixture into a small bowl before bringing it back to me.

“Here, give it a try.”

I didn’t take the bowl, so Logan took my hand with his hand and made me hold it.

“C’mon. I used egg white. It’s nutritious. Give it a try.”

I don’t know why, but I brought the bowl to my mouth and let the liquid run down onto my tongue. It wasn’t bad. It tasted nothing.

Logan rushed back to the kitchen and returned with the pot. He poured almanbahis the rest of the liquid into my bowl. He made quite a lot. It should have a full glass of white viscous liquid there.

“I read this is good for you to take as breakfast. You can have it when you wake up. How’s the taste?”

“It doesn’t taste much.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want it to taste anything. So, we can fix the taste. Drink the rest.”

I didn’t see any problem in drinking that, so I brought the bowl back to my lips and let it all into my mouth.

“There you go.” Logan pinched my cheeks, which was something he used to do when I did a good job.

For a moment, I had forgotten what I was there for. I didn’t even know why I was drinking that viscous liquid that felt like a watery porridge in my mouth. Logan had that power over me, I confess. His brain worked twice as fast as mine. Our coach always said that to us. We were equally strong, but I was too slow. In a way, it was like I was always daydreaming while Logan was vigilant.

I’ve witnessed this speed discrepancy many times. When a guy tried to take my wallet out of my pocket, and Logan scared him away. Or when I forgot my cash in the ATM, and Logan warned me. There was that time when I was walking aimlessly and before falling into a huge hole on the ground, he caught me by the arm and helped me. The list is endless. Maybe this is why I’ve never fought him. Logan could foresee my behaviour and stop me from getting angry even before I realized I had a reason to start an argument. Yesterday was an exception, and he knew it. He knew I’d never be pissed for too long. Yes, it’s also happened before and, in the end, it was me apologizing to him for my bad attitude. To be honest, after drinking the ‘porridge’, I couldn’t remember what I was drinking.

“Why does this shit look like cum?” I asked.

“Fuck, man. That’s no shit. That’s a recipe of fake cum.”

“Fake cum? What for?”

“I was thinking that you should be right. We always do everything together. I couldn’t make you swallow my jizz and don’t do anything in return. So, I thought I could at least pretend I were drinking it. And this is quite close, right?”

Oh, that’s right. This is what brought me to his house in the first place.

“It’s obviously not the same thing,” I complained.

“It feels the same, dude. You’re creating a drama for nothing.”

That’s also something Logan used to say to me quite often. To him, I was always making a drama for no reason. I was too dramatic. I should be an actor. I used to turn small issues into huge unsolvable problems. I should relax and take it easy.

The thing is I couldn’t see the bigger picture. Logan swallowing fake cum while I drank real one was just one part of the issue. The other was that I was now the one swallowing both the real and the fake ones. He drank a few drops of that shit while I had a full glass in my stomach. Oh, and a third problem: the day had just started. One message from my friend, and I was in his apartment with a stomach full of fake cum.

“It’s still not the same.”

“Of course, it is. What do you think cum is made of? Water, fat, protein… The same here. Both nutritious.”

His last sentence was followed by several seconds of awkward silence. It was a rare moment between the two of us. We never ran out of topics as we could talk uninterruptedly for hours maybe days.

“Do you wanna play games? Watch TV?” Logan suggested.

“I don’t know, what if…” I was about to say getting back to sleep when he interrupted me.

“Hey, what if we call the chicks? If we play our cards right we can get them sucking us again. Maybe we can get some pussy now.”

“That sounds awesome. Fuck.” Yeah, the words ‘suck’ and ‘pussy’ got me to a different zone. It’s never too much to repeat how horny we were. Usually, we’d start talking about chicks in the early morning and continue till we were both in our beds sending pictures of sluts through the phone.

“Nice.” Logan returned to the couch where his iPad was, took it back onto his lap and opened Skype. I sat on his side and saw his call logs. Apparently, he had called both Sarah and Michelle many times before. I was a little confused when I saw the names of people I didn’t know, such as Adam and Ted.

“Who’s Adam?” I asked. I can’t deny I was a little upset. I thought I knew all of Logan’s friends and family. I’m sure I’ve introduced to him everyone I was acquainted with.

“Oh, that’s a guy from high school. He wanted to know if it’s worth applying for our uni. Shit like that. I couldn’t even remember who he was.” I heard the Skype’s dialling sounds.

I saw then Sarah’s face on his tablet. She was still in bed. Her head was lying on a pink fluffy pillow. Logan said hi before placing the iPad back on his lap from where Sarah could see the both of us.

“Morning, studs. What’s up?”

“Not much, so far,” Logan answered. “We were thinking if you and Michelle would be down for another ride.”

“What do you mean by ride? Cheap dinner almanbahis yeni giriş and a romantic night in a deserted park?”

“Oh, c’mon. It wasn’t that bad, right?” Logan had no idea how to deal with women. He could be very smart, but sometimes I think he liked to play dumb.

“Nah.” She laughed. “That wasn’t bad if compared to the jizz you wanted us to swallow.”

We heard a female voice in the background. “What’s that? The guys from yesterday?” It should be Michelle.

“Yeah.” Sarah was still laughing.

Michelle showed her face as she laid on Sarah’s left side.

“Man, when I saw you having those anchovies, I could imagine the disaster.” Now she was laughing at me. I was the one who had anchovies.

“I didn’t know. I swear.” I said defensively. “I still dunno how the stuff we eat changes the taste of our cum.”

“Logan should’ve told you. He’s the one bothering us with this obsession of having us swallowing your jizz.” Sarah was still laughing.

Logan looked at me. “Yeah, I was talking with them before. I asked them if they could swallow our jizz.” He looked back at the camera. “And you said you would.”

“No, we said we would if you were tasting ok. It didn’t happen. Now we’re calling you anchovy and olive.”

“Fuck, man. If you do that no chick in this campus will ever suck us anymore.” It was my turn to complain as habitual. “You can’t expect us to know how our jizz tastes.”

“Do your research, boys. There must have something you can do about it. We can go out for dinner if you want, but no head till you’re ready. And if you aren’t, we’ll tell everyone who anchovy and olive are.” Sarah was still laughing when she hanged up.

“So, what do you have in mind? If they start talking about us like that we’re done for. We still have two years on this campus, bro. Two years with no head.” Logan was serious and a little upset.

“I’m thinking, ok? I’ll see what I can eat to enhance the flavour of my jizz…”

“So, you’re saying you’ll swallow your jizz to see if it tastes better?” Logan asked.

“I don’t see any other way…”

“And what about me?”

“You can do the same…”

“Dude, c’mon. You know I can’t do that. I’d throw up. It’d make me sick. Swallowing the fake one made me sick already. That’d kill me.”

“We can eat the same stuff. If it enhances the flavour of my jizz, it will do the same to yours…”

“You know it’s not how it works. It’d never taste the same.” Logan moved from upset to sad. I’d say almost tearful. It hurt me to see him like that. “You’ll be the only one getting head. It’s unfair, man.”

“Bro, I can’t just keep swallowing your jizz. That’s weird.”

“Weird is you having fun all by yourself while I’m left aside like the pineapples you pick from your pizza.”

I didn’t like fruits in pizza. Logan was saying I was about to discard him like something I didn’t care about. That wasn’t true. I was feeling guilty. We had a pact we’d always be together. Our lives were entwined forever.

“Sorry, man. That’s not what I meant.” I was becoming sad myself. “It’s just that I feel weird doing that.”

“Oh, so swallowing your own is ok, but mine is not? We’re like brothers. We’re one, man. It shouldn’t be any different swallowing my cum or yours. You’re being selfish. Really. I’d do that for me if I were you without even thinking about it. That’s how important I think you are.”

I wanted to say ‘ok, I’ll do it for you’, but I was afraid I’d sound like a fag if I did that. Who else but fags say they’ll swallow another dude’s jizz?

Logan continued: “What if we jerk off here and then we talk about it later? Then no pressure, ok?”


Logan was still dead serious when he went to the kitchen. He returned holding two small white bowls. He gave me one.

“Make sure you cum in there.”

The TV was on. Logan only needed to press one button, and I saw the frozen image of a blonde slut covered in cum. That was one of the cum-swallowing compilations we used to watch together when we wanted to polish our knobs. Logan pressed play before kicking his pants away. I let my shorts fall on the ground and we started a quiet session. Normally, we’d make comments and joke about some scenes, but this time we were more focused on the video.

It didn’t stop us from having rock hard boners though. Yes, we were two horny guys, technically still teenagers. As we weren’t talking, it didn’t take me long to cum. I took the bowl and aimed my dick at it. Logan looked at me and smiled for the first time since we started our argument.

“Won’t you try to disturb me this time?”

“You bastard.” I laughed. I left the bowl on the couch and started dancing in front of the TV. As I danced, my now soft cock would go up and down, and then move from left to right. That was fun. I then turned around and started twerking to Logan.

“Fuck that bitch, yeah” I was yelling as I attempted to interrupt his fun. I turned back to him, and he was cumming now. “Fuck, man. You can still see almanbahis giriş the telly? I need a better strategy.”

“Yeah, but it’s fun like this, right?”

“Fuck, yeah.”

I sat on his side again. I found cum in his bowl too. I took mine back in my hands and showed it to him.

“I cummed more than you.” I bragged.

“Yeah, I rubbed one off this morning already. I tried to taste it. I can’t, seriously. I almost threw up, I swear. You know how I can’t stand vomit, right?”

That was true. Logan once told me the last time he threw up, he was eight. He hated it so much, he promised never to throw up again. This is one of the things we can’t promise as we can’t control it, but he’s succeeded so far.

“Will you drink yours now?” He asked.

I looked at my bowl. Well, it didn’t bother me that much. I brought it to my lips and let the liquid run down till it touched my lips and fell on my tongue.

“Swish it around first.” He instructed. It made sense. The taste was terrible, I got to admit it. I swallowed thinking it should’ve been better to spit it out.

“The chicks are right. It tastes bad, man.”

“Anchovy and olive,” he sighed. He was thoughtful for a little while then he offered me his bowl.


I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I took the bowl in my hands. Fuck it, I could do that for my bud. I was about to let the bowl touch my lips when he stopped me. I was surprised.

“Not all at once. Let’s try to replicate the flavour with the fake cum.”

“What for?”

“I’ll explain later.”

The two of us went to the kitchen naked. I was still holding the bowl with his cum. Logan got a clean pot and started mixing a few ingredients and cooked for a few minutes. In the meantime, we were talking about Sarah and Michelle mostly.

“Why don’t you put your nose in the bowl, so you can smell my jizz?” He suggested suddenly.

“What for?”

“Well, the taste has a lot to do with the smell too. Just so you get used to it.”

I wouldn’t argue. I put it a few inches away from my face, but Logan pushed it closer and my nose was then buried inside the bowl. When talking, I’d try to withdraw a little, but Logan insisted I shouldn’t move. His cum smelt like my cum. I thought cum would always smell like cum.

Once done, Logan put the fake cum inside the fridge to let it cool down. It was weird to talk with that bowl in front of my face, but eventually, we both got used to it.

“I think it’s good already. We don’t want it cold, right?” Logan took the pot out and took three spoons of fake cum into the bowl that lodged my cum until a few minutes ago. “Now we can start.”

Logan put both bowls on the table and a spoon in each one of them.

“Try the fake first.”

Drinking his cum would be embarrassing enough, but he wanted more. I put the fake cum in my mouth and swallowed.

“Still bland?” He asked.


“Good.” Logan brought a small notebook and a pencil. “Now try a little bit of mine and take your time. Swish it around, gargle if you want, but try to understand the taste, so we can make the fake one taste exactly the same.”

That sounded a little sick to me, but I didn’t want to let my bud down again. I brought a spoon full of his jizz into my mouth and let it sit on my tongue for a while. It was salty and a little bit sour. When I told him that, he got salt and a bottle of sour cream and placed both on the table. From this point on, we looked like two alchemists. I would try the fake and real cum, one after the other until we got to a point where the earlier tastes exactly like the latter.

“Are you sure?” He asked me.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Logan made sure to write down the exact amount of each ingredient he used. It was precise. He cooked yet another batch and made me taste it too.

“Still the same?”

“Yeah. The same.”

“Good. There’s enough now here for you. We can save one for tonight and another one for your breakfast tomorrow.”

“Why so much?”

“So, you can get used to it, of course. This way, when I change my diet, you’ll know if my cum is tasting different too. And as the flavour changes, we change the recipe too.”

“Man, you’re taking this shit really serious…”

“And shouldn’t we? C’mon, we know how important this is for us. We’ll be able to make those chicks swallow our juice and they’ll never call us names again. Even better, imagine if they start saying to other bitches we’re not anchovy and olive, but honey and syrup. Man, we’d have a line of bitches coming to have their share. Agree?”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“Not maybe. I’m telling ya. This is happening. I’m so fucking excited! You should be too.”

“I am, man.”

“Have your glass of cum then. This one you can have now.”

He offered me a full glass of fake cum.

“Man, this tastes bad.”

“But we’ll make it better. C’mon, you’ll get used to it.”

I got the glass and before overthinking it, I gulped it down. The after taste was strong. I caught myself burping that shit. But Logan was happy with my obedience.

“Now, we got to start thinking about how to deal with your dick, bro,” Logan said as he got the rest of the fake cum and filled up two plastic bottles.

“My dick?”

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